he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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