i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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