it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
