Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
