hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
