Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
