Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
