It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
