...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
