I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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