He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
