My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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