whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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