Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
