somebody snuck up and got me drunk
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
