anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
