So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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