The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
