I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
