i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize