Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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