oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
