Duck Duck Cougar?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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