I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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