i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
