my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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