Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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