i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
