he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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