You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
