A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize