I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
