Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
