We won't sleep together?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
