Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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