So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just pee around me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My feet surprised me
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