Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
