Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
