I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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