Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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