I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
