I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
