I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There r osticjed everywhere
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
