Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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