She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
