conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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