he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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