McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I need to align my fucking chakras
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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