i think my tv is drunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
