ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
