dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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