Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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