Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
