I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My dick has a subreddit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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