Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize