Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
