I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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