He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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