Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
