Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
