I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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