The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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